Stress

Last night my usual group ran a D&D session. During it a few arguments happened and I'd like to talk about them. The backstory of the events was that my brother (one of the players) would be starting work as a resident nurse (R.N.) soon, which would ruin our D&D schedule, as such we used his birthday last night (3//8/2017) as an excuse to play D&D.

Something I've never mentioned is that our hosts (the people who play Bruce Nightvale and Sharp) have two children. One of them has a slue of mental disabilities, my brother's (person who plays Father Marks) child has attention deficit disorder (A.D.D.), and his fiancé's (person who plays Olga) daughter has mild A.D.D. and high anxiety.

Our sessions often involve a lot of chaos. For one reason or the other at least one person has to get up and yell at or physically discipline the kids for acting up. Three girls that have mental disorders tend to torment and bully each other constantly. Often times information gets lost or simply forgotten. Now let us add the element of alcohol because we are celebrating a birthday.

In many of these cases I was questioned last night I was wrong. For all my reading of time involving combat I had managed to switched what a Turn (which is one player's actions), and a Round (going around the table completely). I looked in the book to clarify while my drunk brother and soon to be sister-in-law complained to me. Whenever I saw I was wrong I apologized saying you were right to Sharp's player (as we were disclosing the Command spell). MY brother decided to add "I told you, fuck why are we even arguing over this."

All in all the session itself had the players get quite a bit done in terms of social interactions, which is something they were wanting to do more of. The external and internal pressures being placed on me as a DM though had me just say, "Fuck it you kill all three; everyone gets 625 XP. I'm going home."

It was late, the kids were being especially cruel to each other that day, half the party was drunk, my brother was trying to push other stuff to happen because he didn't know when he'd next get to play, and I was quickly becoming fed up with people's attitudes. How do you coup with that, not just as a DM or player but a person?

Whenever it comes to conflict the ideal occurrence is that both parties can take a breath and understand where the other is coming from. In practice that's a load of Orc refuse because the dice roll independent of theory. Sharp had her command spell questioned because she never used it before, and she already asked for the Player's Hand Book to check it to be certain. She managed it well, when I questioned the length of a round Sharp didn't give a snide remark when I admitted being wrong.

Marks on the other hand did. Now we have conflict; talking to Marks would have been fine but he said it on the way to the bathroom, meaning he didn't want to discuss anything. He was frustrated and voiced it because he had liquid courage (Jack Daniels) flowing through him. It's not an excuse, but it is a reason for why. Talking to him afterwards didn't seem to do anything right off the bat either because he felt he wasn't wrong and he even if he was he didn't care how I felt on it. My response was ending the session.

If someone isn't listening to you nor wants to discuss anything with you, don't waste your time. People who think they are absolutely right will never discuss, just condescend you. A discussion means that both people having it accept to one degree or another that they could be wrong and have to tweak their stance if they are wrong. I ended the session because it was late, people were frustrated, I was frustrated, and I saw no reason keep arguing with a drunk.

If there was a better was of handling the situation, I don't know it. Most I had to say afterwards was to discuss with Marks when he was sober again, and tell him bluntly I disliked his attitude. Problems between players and DM/GMs are best dealt with away from the table. Any rivalries outside the game should never enter, nor should rivalries inside the game exit. Remember you're all friends so there will be sessions you are greatly upset with one another. There will be sessions people are just stressed out. There's no formulaic way to handle stress at the table because each situation is unique unto itself. The most you can do is try to be calm when it happens, and discuss your problems before or after the game session.

There's no formulaic way to handle stress at the table because each situation is unique unto itself.